Justin Read online

  Justin reached to his box next to the bed and took out a plug that looked much like the one she’d used on him. Deanna caught the whiff of sanitizer when he removed it from its case then the sweet smell of lube.

  “Wait,” she said. “I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

  Justin leaned down until his face was close to hers. She liked him so close, his sandpaper whiskers beckoning her touch. “You are ready, Deanna. You really are.”

  He held the plug where she could see it, while his big fingers deftly coated it with lube. He touched the plug to her lips. “Kiss it for luck.”

  She should arrest him. Deanna should rip open her bonds, jump from this bed, and arrest him for making her so excited.

  Gingerly, she kissed the tip of the plug.

  “Nice.”

  Justin slid his hand between her buttocks and gently rubbed her. He kept on rubbing, touching his fingertip to her opening, which Deanna felt widening and relaxing whether she told it to or not.

  “There you go, sweetheart,” Justin said in a low voice. “The plug is smaller than my finger. It won’t hurt.”

  Deanna had no idea whether to believe him. The warmth of his fingertip went away to be replaced but the much cooler and stiffer tip of the plug.

  She tightened, but Justin shushed her, heating her skin with his breath. When he touched with the tip again, Deanna unclenched her hands, forcing herself to relax.

  “That’s it.” Justin pushed the plug a little bit inside her. “Now, we’ll see. You’ll either love it, or you won’t.”

  The small thing felt strange inside her, where she’d never thought to put anything before. Justin didn’t thrust it in or wriggle it but held it and let her get used to it.

  Deanna closed her eyes, opened her body, and suddenly, the small plug went all the way inside. “Oh.” She gasped. “Now I understand why you like this.”

  “You see? I didn’t even push it in. You did that yourself.” He leaned down to her. “Now, do you love it? Or hate it?”

  “I love it.” The babbled words came out of her mouth before she could stop them. “Justin, I love it.”

  “Good. We’ll do more then, when you’re ready. I’ll teach you to take bigger ones, and then me.”

  “Yes. Yes.”

  Justin had once told her that the plug would make her feel full and needy. And it did. It fulfilled her and at the same time made her want more.

  Justin lay down next to her and slid his arm underneath her. “Come on over on top of me. I’ll make you feel doubly good.”

  Before she could ask how, Justin pulled her thigh over him and positioned her against his already hard-again cock. He eased her all the way upright, the plug never moving, until he fit smoothly against her very wet pussy.

  And then he was inside. Long and hard, pressing high into her as she straddled him, while the little plug filled her from behind.

  The orgasm topped everything she’d had with him until now. Deanna came apart, twisting on him, every coherent thought gone, except her need to pull him deeper.

  Justin, I love you!

  She’d cried out the words before, now she whispered them in her mind. To herself, to keep them a part of her.

  Darkness rippled through her, her only point of consciousness Justin and his hardness inside her, and the brilliant blue of his eyes. She let herself drown.

  *** *** ***

  Justin came out of a pit of sleep to find his com beeping next to his head. Deanna was next to him, her head on his pillow, one leg over his.

  Justin didn’t want to answer the com, but it kept beeping. If he didn’t shut it off, it would wake her.

  He reached over and tapped its button. “What?”

  “Is something wrong with your console?” came the voice of Elisa n’Arell. “I can’t see you. There’s only audio.”

  “You ask that, in a Shareem house? What is it? Did you find something?”

  “Of course I did. Talan and me and Brianne.” He heard the smile fill Elisa’s voice. “We found her, Justin.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Of course, it couldn’t be that simple.

  “She’s in the Way of the Sun, the most secluded of the orders,” Elisa said. “I managed to get permission to go to the house, but only because Brianne d’Aroth still has a lot of power. I can go, and Talan, and though they said you could travel out there with us, Justin, there’s no guarantee they’ll let you set foot on the grounds or even talk to Lillian.”

  Deanna was up on her elbow, wide awake. “It’s worth a try,” she whispered.

  “Yeah, thanks, Elisa. I really appreciate this. Let’s see what happens.”

  “Does that mean yes?”

  “It means, I’ll be at Braden’s in a few, and we’ll discuss it.” Justin cleared his throat again, trying to get hold of his emotions. “It means, you’re a peach, and I owe you big time.”

  “We haven’t seen her yet,” Elisa said. “This might be all for nothing.”

  “You’ve still done a lot, Elisa. I’ll be there.”

  Justin snapped off the com and lay down again, to find Deanna staring at him. “What?” he asked irritably.

  “You should be jumping up, rushing off to see her. Happy for the chance, any chance.”

  “I am happy. I was worried as hell about her. I’m glad she’s all right.”

  “But . . .”

  “No buts. It’s just . . .” Justin rubbed his hand over his face and found it bristly with new beard. “When all doors are closed, and suddenly they open, it’s hard to get used to.” He brushed his hand across her bare hip. The room was the perfect temperature, because the cooler had finally kicked in, but he wanted to curl up around the warmth of her. “Will you come with me?”

  The words came out more wistfully than he intended them to.

  “Of course,” Deanna said. “I’m a patroller. I have the authority to make them let you see her if the situation is dire enough.”

  Justin looked into her eyes and found her looking back at him with openness and determination. She wanted to do this for him. For him.

  For a Shareem who’d fucked up her life.

  I love you, Justin.

  She was tearing him apart.

  *** *** ***

  Deanna watched Justin all the way out to the mountains the next morning, where the meditation center for the Way of the Sun lay, and wondered what was wrong with him.

  They rode in a private car on a hovertrain, courtesy of Talan d’Urvey. The car was the ultimate in luxury and privacy, with a living room, bedroom, bathroom, and small kitchen in which servants could prepare the traveler any meal she wanted.

  The car was also crowded, because it was meant for one very privileged woman, not four women and their Shareem.

  Elisa, Talan d’Urvey, and Brianne d’Aroth accompanied Justin, and they each were followed by a possessive and watchful Shareem—in Brianne’s case, two of them.

  Deanna had met only Justin, though she’d seen—and carded—Shareem during her patrols. Braden, black-haired and easy to laughter, was with Elisa. Brianne was with Aiden, who immediately took possession of the sofa, and Ky, who kept quiet and made it clear he didn’t trust patrollers. Deanna remembered seeing Aiden and Ky in the open door of the bar the day Justin had given her the veil and taken her to his apartment.

  The Shareem who unnerved her the most was Rees, a Shareem she’d never heard of, let alone seen. He was a little taller than the others and stayed near Talan, the small redhead. Though he talked readily with everyone in the car, Deanna sensed that he kept himself a little distanced from all except Talan, who was never far from the circle of his arm.

  Deanna studied the women as she sat on a loveseat slap against Justin—Elisa tapping her handheld with Braden’s arm firmly across her shoulders, Talan basking in Rees’s attention, and Brianne seemingly comfortable on Ky’s lap with Aiden reaching out to lay his big hand on her thigh.

  These ladies were highborn, and each had given up big ho
uses, cushy jobs, and social standing to be with their Shareem. They were still rich, still with some power because of who their families were, but they were no longer accepted in the circles of higher society.

  And looking at them, they had no regrets.

  “You know,” Aiden said from the couch, where he lay supine. “One train car, five Shareem, four pretty ladies . . . anyone else thinking orgy?”

  Braden chuckled. “How do you put up with him, Bree?”

  “She has sex with me,” Aiden answered. “Calms me down, every time.”

  “One of the ladies here is a patroller,” Ky growled.

  The rest of them went quiet, no noise but the rush of the train as they rocketed across glaring desert.

  When Justin and Deanna had arrived at the station, Justin had openly held her hand, daring with his gaze for the others to say anything. Elisa had welcomed Deanna without hesitation, and the other ladies had followed Elisa’s lead.

  “She’s my patroller,” Justin said, putting his arm protectively around Deanna. “I’m the only one she gets to cuff. And don’t think she hasn’t.”

  His bantering tone made Braden laugh and Aiden smile, but Ky didn’t soften. “Yeah, when she arrested you. Was it that exciting?”

  “Actually, it was,” Justin said. He covered her hand with his free one, squeezing it a little, reassuring her. “She had me down on the ground, with her hot ankles right in front of my face, making me want to lick all the way up her legs. Good times, friends.”

  “Level twos,” Braden said, shaking his head. “They think bondage is one big joke. They make crappy Doms.”

  “Bet me,” Justin said. “We just know how to play. We’ll take any situation and make it better.”

  “Like a patroller arresting you for minding your own business,” Ky said. He was angry, radiated it.

  “She arrested me for going where I wasn’t supposed to,” Justin said. “She was doing her job.”

  “And for that, you want to go down on her?”

  “Sounds good to me,” Aiden said.

  “Shut up, Aiden,” Ky growled.

  “Deanna’s with me,” Justin said, cutting through their words. “We’re together, we’re having sex like I’ve never had before, and she looks hot in nothing but my handcuffs. And if she wants me in the cuffs once in a while, I don’t have a problem.”

  Deanna’s face went hot, and Elisa sent her a sympathetic smile. “You get used to it. It’s their way of explaining to each other that they like us.”

  Justin pulled Deanna close. “And our way of saying don’t touch her, or I’ll beat the crap out of you.”

  Deanna noted that Justin didn’t look at Ky while he said this last—he looked at Rees, who hadn’t joined the argument at all.

  Rees and Justin shared a long look, and Rees gave a nod. “She’s with him,” he said.

  The other Shareem went quiet a moment, then shrugged and went back to paying attention to their ladies. As though Rees’s word was final, the discussion ceased.

  Deanna longed to ask why Rees’s declaration silenced them all. And who Rees was. She’d never seen him in the databases, not that she’d looked specifically, but she’d have remembered coming across a Shareem like him.

  But there was no privacy here, nowhere she could whisper questions to Justin without Rees overhearing. Rees gave Justin a nod, then he gathered Talan to him and kissed her hair.

  Justin had won something, but Deanna wasn’t sure what.

  *** *** ***

  The priestess in charge of the Way of the Sun’s meditation house was elderly but smooth-faced, and quiet, but in the way a mountain was quiet. A mountain didn’t move much or make much noise, but just try to shift it.

  The priestess came through the gate in the large wall surrounding the Way’s property and talked only to Elisa, ignoring Deanna and Justin standing with her. Sister Orianna, once known as Lillian Passan, was in deepest seclusion, the priestess said, and for her to have visitors was beyond thought.

  “However,” the elder said, never looking at Justin. “Sister Orianna has expressed a wish to speak briefly with this person from her past. I have granted her this wish, on condition that the male does not enter the grounds belonging to the Way. I have arranged a meeting in the retreat center in the town. You will wait for her there. If Sister Orianna changes her mind, you are to leave and not seek her again.”

  Deanna wanted to argue, but Elisa crossed her hands over her chest and bowed to the priestess. “Yes, elder. I have gratitude for your kindness.”

  The priestess nodded as though taking her due, then she turned around and walked back through the gate. The gate, a solid wooden door, slammed behind her, shutting them out.

  “That’s it?” Deanna asked hotly. “Go back to that wide spot in the desert they call a town and wait for her to maybe come out to see Justin?”

  “The Ways are famous for being antisocial,” Elisa said. “I should know. They teach unbinding the mind from emotions and living for pure intellect.” She shrugged. “It works for some. I’m sorry Justin.”

  “That’s all right.” Justin sounded more irritated than angry. “We’ll wait. We’ve come this far.”

  “The fact that the elder spoke to us at all is a good sign,” Elisa said.

  She sounded hopeful, but Deanna couldn’t conjure much optimism. As a patroller, she’d dealt with members of the Ways—some of them came to the city on business for their orders.

  The Ways held themselves above all laws and social rules, and patrollers hated dealing with them. Patrollers were charged to protect their members specially, but the women of the orders thought they could stroll around anywhere they liked, including the most dangerous of the off-world docks, without worry, plus they assumed all traffic would stop for them and that all market vendors would give them their wares for free.

  Maybe in ancient times, the world had bent over backwards to serve the women of the Ways, but times had changed. If not for patrollers, whose services were never acknowledged, the ladies would never live to see their meditation gardens again.

  Justin was strangely silent as they entered the town’s retreat center and settled in to wait in a small, shielded garden. He held Deanna’s hand as they sat on a wooden bench under a golden-flowered tree, rubbing his thumb over her palm and fingers, not letting go as they waited.

  Deanna squeezed his hand in return. I’m here for you, she wanted to say.

  She was in love with a Shareem. How did her life become this insane?

  “Elisa n’Arell?”

  The light voice sounded across the garden room, and Justin jumped to his feet. He didn’t drop Deanna’s hand, though, and she scrambled up beside him.

  “Sister Orianna?” Elisa asked.

  The woman didn’t answer. She was swathed from head to foot in robes, her face concealed by light-colored veils. The way the robes fit her, the way the fabric whispered, Deanna guessed that the robes had been tailored for her from the most luxurious silks known. Strange that these ladies wrapped themselves in opulence but their beliefs forbade them to enjoy it.

  Justin said, “Lillian?”

  The woman drew a breath. “I used to be called Lillian.” She hesitated a moment longer, then she lifted the veils from her face.

  The lady inside was no longer the pretty working-class girl from the holopics, her face now lined by years of hard work. Her brown eyes were soft, however, as she fixed her gaze on Justin.

  “Justin,” she said, her voice barely a breath. “I couldn’t believe it when they told me you wanted to see me. After all these years.” She walked down the flagstone path to them, her robes rippling, until she stopped a foot from Justin. She looked up into his face but didn’t try to reach for him. “It really is you. My dear, dear friend.”

  *** *** ***

  Justin looked into light brown eyes that he’d first seen regarding him in trepidation when he’d walked into the experiment lab at DNAmo. DNAmo hadn’t always been clear about what the high-pa
ying jobs for working-class girls actually were, until the worker was thrown in with her first Shareem.

  He had reassured Lillian that first day, and they’d quickly become friends, and then more than friends. They’d had a daughter together. And now?

  Now Lillian was hidden behind layers and layers of silk and a new name, while Deanna Surrell, a patroller in a drab coverall, had become Justin’s lady-love. And Justin knew that the right things had happened.

  He felt Deanna try to draw back, to give him privacy, but Justin gripped her hand, keeping her at his side.

  “What happened to you?” Justin asked Lillian.

  Lillian smiled the warm, deep smile he remembered. “Why did I become a celibate in a secluded Way? Don’t worry, Justin. I’m not here because of anything that happened with you or because I gave my body for experiments at DNAmo. One thing I learned fast about Shareem—they have inflated egos.”

  Both Elisa and Deanna nodded, then all three women laughed.

  Justin didn’t smile. “Why are you here, then?”

  “The world got too much for me, to tell the truth. Watching my father and mother die, when they could have been saved if we’d had more money, and having to give up my child to protect her . . . It all took the heart out of me.” Lillian shook her head. “I suppose I could have left the planet, but I didn’t want to be that far away from them. I can’t see any of them, but at least I can know they’re across the desert in Pas City, even if my father and mother are only remembered by a marker.”

  “It sure was damn hard to find you,” Justin said.

  Lillian raised her chin, the defiant look he remembered. “I didn’t know you were looking, did I? You’d gotten free of Bor Narga. Why did you come back? Are you insane?”

  Yes. “I came to tell you I found Sybellie. Our daughter.”

  Lillian stilled. “You’ve seen her?”

  Justin reached for her hand. Screw the rules. They both needed this. “Yes,” he said. “She’s beautiful.”

  Lillian wrapped her work-hardened fingers around his. “She must be all grown up now.”

  “She’s twenty-four. Goes to graduate school at the university.”