Justin Read online

  Justin started to speak, but the librarian held out her hand to Deanna. “I’m sorry, we haven’t been introduced.”

  Definitely highborn. Only someone from the Serestine Quarter would demand that manners be followed no matter how dire the situation.

  Deanna, as the lower-ranking woman in the room, went first. “Deanna Surrell, Patroller First Class.”

  “Elisa n’Arell, Library Director.”

  She came from an old and rich family, Deanna surmised, with a name like that and veils that would cost Deanna a month’s pay.

  “I’m not arresting Justin, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Deanna said.

  “She already did that,” Justin said. “She likes handcuffs. And other things.”

  Elisa looked at both of them again, took in Justin’s half-grin, and made an “oh” of understanding. Deanna blushed harder than she had in her life.

  “You can stop explaining right there, Justin,” Elisa said. “I don’t need to know. But you’re frothing at the mouth about something. What?”

  “Lillian joined a celibate order,” Justin said. “I want to know which one.”

  Elisa looked surprised. “An order? You’re sure?”

  Deanna answered. “Very sure. It’s the only explanation. I’ve been helping Justin try to find her,” she added at Elisa’s continued surprise.

  “Order records are sealed,” Elisa said. “Even to me.” She peered at Deanna. “Are you very sure?”

  “Very. It’s the only way all records of her after a certain point could disappear. Even DNA records. I found reference to her new name when I did a DNA search, but only one. Then . . . nothing.”

  “Yes, you could be right.” Elisa’s eyes took on a keen light, as though she’d enjoy sifting through all the data again herself. “It never occurred to me she might have joined an order—they’re very selective. I was going on with looking for a name change or move off planet, and I have no access to the DNA records. But even if what you say is true, I can’t get into order records.”

  “But you know people,” Justin said. “If I believe everything Braden says, you were pretty high up in your Way. You’d know who to ask. Ask them.”

  Deanna’s world was sure being shoved around this week. A Shareem, classified as the lowest of sentient life forms on Bor Narga, was sitting here demanding that a highborn woman formerly from a celibate Way use her contacts to help him. He wasn’t groveling or even asking politely. Justin looked highborn Elisa n’Arell straight in the eye and told her to help him, and Elisa didn’t even blink.

  “It’s a good idea, Justin, but I can’t promise anything,” Elisa said. “Some of the orders can be very close-mouthed.”

  Justin’s grin spread over his handsome face. “You’ll sweet talk them, Elisa, as only you can.”

  And now the highborn woman was blushing. “I’ll try.”

  “Thank you.” Justin rose, but instead of giving the woman a polite nod or bow as lower-ranking people were supposed to, he cupped her shoulders and kissed her on the cheek. “Tell Braden to be extra special to you.”

  Her smile warmed her eyes. “I’ll do that.”

  Justin led Deanna back outside. The heat had pumped up as the sun moved to its zenith, and sweat trickled between Deanna’s shoulder blades.

  “Was she ever . . .” Deanna cleared her throat and forced out the question. “Was she one of your . . . clients?” The comfortable way Justin had spoken to Elisa, coupled with the kiss, which Elisa had accepted while blushing rosy red, pointed that way. The level of jealousy this gave Deanna dismayed her.

  “Elisa? No, she’s Braden’s girl—remember I told you that when you asked me what I was doing here the last time?” Justin stopped and pulled her to face him. The Bor Nargan sun made his still-wet hair glisten, and shadowed his tanned skin. “Or did you think I went to the library that day to see her for sex?”

  Deanna tried to shrug. “Of course that’s what I thought. You’re Shareem.”

  “I can see that we need to have a little talk.”

  Justin took her hand and almost dragged her back through the streets toward his apartment. Instead of leading her inside, though, Justin ducked with her into the bar next door.

  “I see you found him,” Judith said from behind the counter.

  Deanna’s face went hot, but Justin pulled her past Judith and Mitch, who sat on his usual stool at the bar.

  “We’re taking the corner table,” Justin said. “Keep everyone away, but bring the ale. Deanna and I need to talk.”

  “Uh-oh,” Mitch said.

  Judith wiped her hands, pulled taps to dispense two tankards of ale, and brought them to the table. “Be nice to her, Justin,” Judith said. “Patrollers can’t help being what they are.”

  Justin shook his head. “Deanna’s a good lady. Don’t worry.”

  Judith raised her brows but walked away without a word, back to the bar and Mitch.

  Deanna took a sip of ale, finding it surprisingly good, but Justin didn’t drink.

  “I’m Shareem,” Justin said, his blue eyes steady. “But I left Bor Narga a long time ago and lived like a real human being. I got together with a woman and stayed with her in a permanent relationship. Shela and I were together, with no one else. Occasionally, we’d bring in a third or a fourth, but only for fun, and only briefly.”

  Deanna coughed, wiped her mouth, and set down her tankard. “A third or a fourth?”

  “Yes.” No explanation, no embarrassment, just the one word. “When I moved back to Bor Narga, Elisa and Braden were going through some things. I was their third a couple of times, but it was for fun only, to help them work out their problems. They’ve invited me back once or twice, but lately, I haven’t been interested.”

  “No?”

  “No.” Justin leaned to her, his gaze intense. “Because I’m more interested in a patroller with pretty eyes.”

  “Oh.” Deanna swallowed and started to say more, but he cut her off.

  “I’m not finished. DNAmo created Shareem to be living pleasure toys—played with until the lady is bored then handed off to the next lady in line. But the reality is that Shareem like to be with certain people, and not others, and they can fall in love. I wasn’t smart enough to hide that with Lillian at DNAmo, which is why they broke us up. On Sirius, I got with Shela, and we were very happy. And now, I’m finally finding something like happiness again with you, which means I’m not running around fucking every woman in sight. All right?”

  Deanna listened, heart pounding. The way he looked at her made her warm and happy, and she couldn’t quite make her tongue start working again.

  “All right?” Justin repeated, waiting.

  She nodded quickly and cleared her throat. “I believe you.”

  “You clinched it when you handcuffed me to the bed.” Justin’s smiled glimmered through. “Nice touch. I was trying to convince myself that I couldn’t possibly feel anything for a patroller, and then you went and excited me more than I’ve been excited in a long time, and now you’re helping me find Lillian. Why?”

  That was easy. “Because I hate seeing you so sad. Because I know why you need to find her. Because I don’t think it’s fair what they did to you.”

  Justin watched her closely, eyes so deeply blue in his handsome face. “You’re sweet, Patroller.”

  “I’m not sweet.” Deanna balled her fists. “I just . . . I thought you’d be different. I never realized how much I’d like you.”

  “Fair dues,” Justin said. “I never thought I’d like you. And then you go and make me care.”

  “So what do we do?”

  Justin started to smile. “Have more sex?”

  “Is that your answer to everything?”

  “It is what I am. No matter how we feel inside, Shareem still like sex, and we like to explore every sexual facet we can. That’s why some add the third—or fourth, or fifth—to enjoy the spice.”

  “Is that what you want to do with me?” Deanna unclenche
d her hands and laced them around her ale glass. “Add more people?”

  “No, actually. I’m finding that I don’t want to share you. But there’s other ways we can play. Like more of what we’ve done, or watching, or . . .”

  “Wait, wait. Watching? Watching what? You mean like . . . dirty vids?”

  Justin let out a laugh. “Vids are boring. There’s nothing like watching a passionate couple really into each other. They know you’re watching, and they like it, which makes it even more hot.”

  Deanna felt her mouth drop open. “If you say so.”

  “And if we get so into it that we rip off each other’s clothes and start in ourselves, all the better.”

  “In front of them? You’re crazy, right?”

  “It can be fun, Deanna, with the right people. If everyone’s consenting, what the hell?”

  “Do you do this often?”

  Justin looked surprised. “No. Like I said, it has to be the right couple and the right time. You’re adventurous, sweetheart. I see that in you. I think you’d enjoy the experience. But if you don’t want to.” He shrugged. “Fine by me. There’s plenty other things that are fun.”

  “You are crazy.”

  But Deanna wondered. Would she feel horribly embarrassed seeing two people making love to each other, or would it spur her—especially if Justin was next to her—to want it too? Pheromones were unpredictable things.

  Even so, such an idea was out of her realm. Justin was out of her realm.

  “I’m not sure about that,” Deanna said.

  “Don’t worry. I said, I have many ideas.”

  “Once you find Lillian, though . . .”

  “Once I find Lillian, what?”

  She wasn’t certain. If Lillian was in a celibate order, Justin couldn’t run off with her, but what would he and Lillian decide to do? They’d been something to each other once, and they shared a child.

  “Justin, what we have can’t possibly go anywhere,” she said in a rush.

  “I was thinking the same thing, actually, until you broke into my house this morning and chained me up.”

  “I know I did, but . . .”

  “Now, I’m willing to think about it. I’m ready to let what happens, happen. I learned a long time ago not to throw something away because other people try to screw it up for you. What I have with you is none of anyone’s business.”

  “But it’s dangerous for both of us,” Deanna said. “You don’t know everything about me, Justin. Anything, really. My mother . . .” She studied her ale, then decided it better to meet his gaze as she explained. “My mother is very ill. Incurably, they tell me.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  The sudden compassion on Justin’s face surprised her. “Gods, Deanna. I’m sorry. What happened?”

  Deanna told him briefly while he listened, still with that compassion. “And there’s really nothing . . . ?” he asked when she finished.

  Deanna shook her head. “I’ve looked into every treatment. There might be something off-world I don’t know about, but anything I’ve found that might help even a little is so hideously expensive, I couldn’t possibly save up enough for it in time . . . And I won’t try some strange experimental treatment that might make her worse.”

  “I wish you’d told me,” Justin said.

  “Why?” Deanna asked sharply. “Would you have left me in peace?”

  “No, I would have tried to help you sooner. I have resources you don’t know about.”

  “What resources? What are you talking about?”

  “People. Knowledge. Money.”

  “I looked you up, Justin. I learned every last thing about you. You don’t have money. You have a house on Sirius, but it’s sitting empty. And I know who you know. If you mean Katarina d’Arnal, your medic friend, she’s not qualified to treat profound chemical problems like this one.”

  “Databases only cough up what people put into them, doesn’t matter how good your clearance code is,” Justin said. “If the database doesn’t know about it, no one can find out about it.”

  “Meaning you’re keeping secrets from the Bor Nargan government?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good.” Deanna lifted her ale and took a nice, long drink.

  Justin grinned. “See? You’re not so bad. I’ll make some inquiries and let you know. In the meantime . . .”

  “In the meantime?” Deanna’s heart beat faster. She didn’t think he could help her—the situation was beyond help—but she liked that he wanted to.

  “In the meantime, I think we should do what you suggested and have more sex.”

  Deanna felt her mouth move into a smile. She looked into his eyes, which had scared her and fascinated her the first time she’d seen them. “Maybe you’re right,” she said.

  *** *** ***

  Justin thrust again, liking how her eyes half-closed whenever he slid all the way inside her. And she made such delicious little noises.

  “I love fucking you,” Justin said. “Just fucking, no games.”

  “Yes . . .”

  Justin held onto his bed frame and thrust again, she face-up under him, the sweat between their bare bodies slick and hot. She smelled good, womanly musk and salt.

  “You’re tight,” he whispered. “You’re making me come again. Damn it, I’m not ready.”

  Deanna gave him a languid smile and squeezed. The little sweetheart had learned her lessons well.

  “Deanna,” he said as his mind blanked to everything but her. “Deanna. Gods.”

  Her own cry joined his as Deanna peaked, her body moving in rhythm under his. “Justin,” she groaned. “Justin, I love you.”

  *** *** ***

  The room went silent as they wound down. Deanna’s face was relaxed in passion, but her eyes held trepidation, almost fear.

  Justin kissed her, the warm, slow kisses of afterglow. “Shh.”

  “Justin . . .”

  “No,” he whispered. “Don’t take it back. Don’t, sweetheart.”

  Deanna bit her lip, and Justin pulled her close. He felt the shudder of her breath, her fears, everything that was between them.

  They lay together for a long time, he still inside her. He knew he’d missed his window of opportunity to get himself to the Vistara and see Sybellie, but he’d forgo that for one day.

  Right now, he needed to be with Deanna. Even though he knew rough times would come, especially in light of Rees wanting to get them off planet, he hadn’t liked Deanna’s declaration that they couldn’t have anything beyond this. He wanted this, and so much more.

  For now, he could hold her, drink in the scent of her, and let himself bask in just being with her.

  And play with her. After a time, when he knew she’d rested enough, he murmured, “You made me come too soon, little darling.”

  “I did? How?”

  “By being your sweet self. And squeezing like I taught you.”

  “Like this?” She gave a little squeeze, and Justin went rock hard again.

  “Damn you, woman. Just for that . . .”

  He pulled out, much as he hated to, and had her on her stomach before she could fight him. His velvet-lined cuffs were ready, and he locked them around her outstretched wrists. She wriggled and cried out in protest.

  “There,” he said. “How do you like being on the receiving end?”

  “Justin.”

  Justin locked the handcuffs together around the headboard with a slim chain. “Hmm, this looks familiar. Except it was me with my ass in the air.”

  “You let me go right now,” Deanna said, but not very convincingly. “I’m a patroller.”

  “That’s true. A patroller who’s been very, very bad. Sleeping with Shareem, playing with toys.”

  As he spoke, Justin reached for the oil that he’d had Aiden mix for him, the one that smelled of jasmine. He opened the bottle, the heady aroma filling the air, and dribbled oil onto her back.

  She jumped. “What are you doing? Oh, that smells good.”
>
  And because Aiden, the best level one ever, had mixed it, the oil had soothing pheromones in it as well. A concoction to make a woman relaxed, happy, and needy.

  Justin smoothed the oil down her back and over her buttocks. Deanna stretched and purred.

  “This is the nice part,” Justin said. “Level twos get to be a little bit level one.” He lifted his hand away. “And a little bit level three.”

  He let his hand come down—smack—on her ass.

  Deanna jumped and yelped. Justin spanked her a few more times, then rested his tingling hand on her warmed buttocks. “That’s for tying me down. Which I liked, so I’m being nice to you. Don’t even think about what I’ll do to you for arresting me.”

  “It was my job.”

  “This is mine, sweetie. This is what being with a Shareem is. He finds out all your desires and makes you live them.”

  “You can’t know what I want,” Deanna said.

  “Bet me. I know you like this.” Justin raised his hand and slapped it down on her backside again. “You like me spanking you.”

  “No.”

  “Then why are you letting me do it?”

  “Because you’ve handcuffed me!”

  “Deanna, love, those cuffs aren’t that strong. I’m not level three. You’re not struggling to get away. That tells me you like it.”

  Deanna did like it. She’d never admit it out loud, but the heat on her buttocks, his hand resting there, excited her amazingly. Even more when he lifted his hand away, and she clenched her body in anticipation.

  What she felt next was not his hand, but his tongue, seaming between her buttocks and touching her opening. She jumped.

  “You like that too,” Justin said in his dark voice. “My naughty patroller.” He lifted his beautiful tongue away, and slap, slap, his hand came down again.

  Deanna pulled at her bonds, but he was right, she didn’t try very hard. “Let me go.”

  “I don’t think so. Now, what else did you do to me? Oh, yeah.”